Saying Thank You That Are Positive In Your Life

Did you know that Thank You are two of the most powerful words a person can tell someone?  Today I was talking with a friend, she made the comment that she noticed how I always said thank you when someone did something for me, and that she appreciated the fact that I still had those manners but she posed a great question to me.  Her question was have you taken the time to thank those people who don’t do anything for you but lead a positive life that it influences you as a person whether it’s their actions, their words, or their compassion. Of course I had never done it because I never saw a reason to because I’ve always perceived it as that persons reputation however she challenged me to thank ten people who have had some sort of positive influence in my life and to thank them personally.  I thought this was weird until I reached out to these individuals (I ended up with fifteen people I personally thanked).  Therefore, here is what I told my friends:

So I was told to tell ten people today thank you if they have been a positive influence in my life sooo with that being said your person #1.... Thank you for being a positive influence on my life and continue to impact me with positive thoughts and experience.

Now here’s what I will say I did tell each person that they were number one and it was a simple reason no one person is better than the other they each have a reason why they are my number one by something that they do in their lives so to me they are all #1s.  I challenge each reader to do this and see what your friend response is. Mine have of course been favorable and probably surprising because it caught them off guard.

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."

JFK

"The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention."

Oscar Wilde

~ Truly Blessed,

Misherald "Missy" & Jonathan "JB" Brown

Don't Let Your Setback Hold You Down...

So I am quite sure everyone was like oh she started another blog and fell off the wagon of updating but I promise you I really did not Jonathan has had me super busy lately. 

However today while at church and listen to my pastor who was brings word from Micah 7:8, which read Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy: when I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness, the LORD shall be a light unto me (KJV).  His subject was Your Setback Is Just A Setup For Your Come Back now at that point I felt something powerful hit me for you see while I’m still going through as Micah 7:8 says The LORD shall be a light unto me.   I had just gone through one of those seasons and not many knew about it as I had wanted it and truly, it was hard.  I could not think what I had done so wrong to be in that situation however to hear someone minister on it and actually preach on it I look at that time of darkness differently.  While in the mist of it I wasn’t sure of anything there were days I stressed losing my job for not being focused, days I stressed my electricity being shut off for nonpayment and there was nothing more I could do except just simply pray and praising.

While I am not out of the mist of my storm, God has shown me things that I never thought possible from making a way for me to get furniture, to getting a car that is paid for to simply making things happen that I didn’t think would happen.   So best, believe I am sowing seeds and speaking over them.  

Remember your time isn’t up until God says it is so even in the bottom of the 4^th with your team down 7 you still got a chance to make a COMEBACK don’t you dare GIVEUP.

The best part of this is you truly learn who your friends are and those who were there just to gossip and talk your business. For who can be against you when God is, for you remember when you are on the way back up to leave those friends behind and simply take your lifetime friends with you.

"There's nothing as exciting as a comeback - seeing someone with dreams, watching them fail, and then getting a second chance." - Rachel Griffiths, Australian Actress 

~Truly Blessed,

Misherald "Missy" & Jonathan "JB" Brown

Those Who You Surround Yourself With

It's always said that those people in your life has a purpose for being there or simply they have a reason, season, or a lifetime but you have to be fully aware of your surroundings to know their place...  Read this statement and think of all of those people who have come into your life and think about where they fit.

People come into your life for a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to end the relationship. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season!

LIFETIME relationships teach you a lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

We all have reasons, seasons or lifetimes in our life right now.  

The Key is making these Reasons a Lifetime!

Truly Blessed,

Misherald "Missy"  & Jonathan "JB" Brown

Best Friend vs Friends: What's The Difference...

My Ace & I celebrating her birthday

A friend calls your parents Mr & Mrs however a best friend calls your parents mom and dad.  A friend has never seen you cry but a best friend has always been the shoulder you lean on to cry on.

A friend never asks for anything to eat or drink but a best friend opens the fridge and simply make their selves at home.

A friend asks you to writes down your number however a best friend will ask for you for their number because we can't remember it (Yes their own phone number).

A friend borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. A best friend cleans their house and realizes they have a houseful of your stuff that needs to be return.

A friend only knows a few facts but a best friend can write your biography on your life.

A friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing but 
a best friend will always go with you.
For those who have best friends and want to celebrate them don't forget National Best Friend Day is June 8. Believe me you will be hearing about the ACE on that as well.

~Truly Blessed,

Misherald "Missy" & Jonathan "JB" Brown

Boundaries: Personal, Professional, & Self

Someone asked me today if I knew my own limits and my first response was yes. However, after that person began to ask questions that are more specific I found myself hesitating and having to think about my answers. It made me realize that to a point, yes, I did but when it comes to certain people and certain situations, I did not put my boundaries in effect. Any life coach will tell you that creating strong boundaries is the number one way for an individual to improve their lives especially females.  I have heard Cheryl Richardson once say that you have to free yourself from the “disease to please”.

It is often said that you have to be aware of yourself to know what boundaries you need to set. So yes, it is important to set self-boundaries but you also have to know what boundaries you are setting with people. Of course, each person will have a certain threshold because of his or her status in your life whether it is your spouse, child, employer, coworker, or friend. Do not let yourself feel guilty for setting boundaries.  When you allow guilt to eat at you then you wasted your time setting the boundaries because you talked yourself right back out of it. The way you overcome the guilt situation is knowing when to say simply say no. If you are not in the mood, maybe your tired then just say no do not try to formulate an explanation of why you are saying no Just Do It!

Here is my biggest issue saying yes. You ever get that person who always tells you if you need me call me.  They just volunteer to help but you never want to depend on them or feel like you are putting them out their way even when they offered to help. I am good for rejecting help but being the first to jump to help. Backwards I know :) ! Then there are the biggest two words you can tell anyone. Thank you!  It’s okay to not express to someone how much you needed them or maybe you felt bad for having to call on them… no it’s simple just say thank you for being there, thank you for caring, thank you for taken care of me when I needed it. Do not let the feeling of shame or regret get to you.  Just be gracious and your friends know your heart it is going to be okay.

There is so much more to setting boundaries that I can go on and on about but what help would I be to just give it all away instead of suggesting that you doing some reading or research because I’m still working on it. My biggest hindrance right now is asking for help. I have the worst habit of waiting until things are just totally out of control before I will admit to myself that I need help.

Here are some good reads on how to set your boundaries:

Boundaries: When to Say YES, When to Say NO, To Take Control of Your Life by Dr Henry Cloud and Dr John Townsend

The work book is a great help mate as well!

Setting Boundaries with Difficult People: Six Steps to SANITY for Challenging Relationships by Allison Bottke

Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, & Relationships That All of Us Have To Give Up In Order To Move Forward by Dr Henry Cloud

Here is a quote to think on:

When people show their boundaries, (I cannot do this for you), you feel rejected.  Part of your struggle is to set boundaries to your own love. Only when you are able to set your own boundaries will you be able to acknowledge, respect and even be grateful for the boundaries of others.

~Henri J.M. Nouewn

~Truly Blessed,

Misherald  "Missy"  &  Jonathan "JB" Brown

What Is Life Like Raising A Autistic Child?

People often ask me what is it like to be the mother of an autistic child and often times it takes a lot not to just laugh. They find it weird that I am quick to say it is like raising any other child except I have more people involved in our lives.  With Jonathan, I have a team of about thirty other people that are involved in his health, education and any other major factors of his life.  

We work as a well-oiled machine between his pediatric physician, a team of specialize doctors, three private therapist, a team of ABA therapist, and me acting as his advocate we are a great team. That usually makes some of them give me a weird look wondering how I keep it all in line as well as control of my life. The answer is easy it is all about time management, being able to say no, making sacrifices knowing what you have on your plate, and knowing what you want out of life for both parties. When I finally got my mind focused on those things, I made quite a few changes that changed my life.  From cutting work, hours to be able to adjust for all of Jonathan's appointments to making sure that everyone who needed to be involved in his life had the time that they needed to do their part.  I had to cut back on some luxuries that I enjoyed for life to balance correctly. The biggest challenge is not to let the situation take over your life and get you upset with circumstances. 

The greatest thing I have learned since becoming Jonathan's mom is simply to live a fun fulfilling life.  When things do happen you have to be able to respond to them quickly without reacting without thinking this eliminates what if mode. Those thoughts will drive you crazy. Now many of you may think oh I feel sorry for her the sacrifices she make have to be great but instead I ask that before you pity me you simply root for us to overcome all obstacles that come our way.

So out of all of this my life lesson is simple: LIVE LOVE LAUGH... life is full of fun moments and you have to accept those fun moments as they come but be prepared for those rough moments as well.

A quote that we live by:

"Remember life is a precious gift, love is a wonderful gift, and laughter is a glorious gift.So live life to the fullest, love with all your heart, and laugh as much as you breathe."

~Truly Blessed,

Misherald "Missy" & Jonathan "JB" Brown

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. 

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

To Settle or Not To? That is The Question of Today

Many people would say settling is not the best way to handle a situation as a matter of fact most would say that settling is simply giving up.  However, the question remains is it wise to settle for a career, a spouse, or simply settling in life all together. Just so, you as a person do not feel alone or as if you are not, accepted?

I will admit for the past seven years I have just been settling for things never realize attempt to overcome issues.  My way of thinking is settling it got the situation handle quickly and effectively but then I began to wonder that if settling was just my way of avoiding instead of really working through things. For example, my love life or really the lack of a love life I have always made the comment about how I sacrifice it with the everyday needs of taking care of Jonathan and that I was more than willing to sacrifice this part of life. For me this was just settling because I was not wanting to deal with rejection or having to defend my time with my son. Was it right to settle maybe not but did I do it for all the right reasons?  There are many things I have simply settle for between the careers I have recently had in the past years to simply get by to simply settling for life as it is instead of attempting to push forward and achieve better things.

At some point, a person has to decide when they are finally ready to quit settling for things and have enough drive to simply go for broke and achieve ultimate satisfaction. Is your happiness worth sacrificing just so you do not feel lonely? Do you see this person being a positive influence to your child? As a single mother there are so many reasons that I do not just settle whether it is my son’s education, my personal life or my financial status while I may sacrifice some things I will not settle just to be happy.

~Truly Blessed,

Misherald “Missy” & Jonathan “JB” Brown

Do You Surround Yourself With Positive People

The Frats of Phi Beta Sigma Inc of CSU
chilling with J & Missy at the
 Summerville Miracle League Game

It's December 31 and honestly it's been a really quiet morning so I decided to visit a few influential blogs that I enjoy reading when I have free time on my hands. 

Today I was drawn to Paul C. Brunson's blog in case you aren't aware of who he is he's the Real Life Hitch (yeah Hitch as in the movie that Will Smith played the matchmaker) will that's what Paul does for a living. He has a blog that he keeps on his website and I love getting the opportunity to read his words. 

A few days ago he wrote a blog entitled Surround Yourself With Better People and it was quite a interesting read. He speaks about how you should keep yourself surrounded with people who are as my passionate and accomplished as you or where your wanting to be.  This got me to thinking I don't have many people who I hang with or surround myself in real life that I wouldn't consider successful in their own right. However after taking a evaluation of my friends in my personal life it got me to thinking about my friends in my social media life. Now that's a different ballgame because I've come to find that over time my friends on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ have grown and often times I find myself looking at my friends list wondering who is who and where I know them from to the point one day I decided to purge my Facebook friends.

I was at 4600 people and do mind you Facebook only allows 5000 friends per a page and I wasn't getting a second page so with that purge I made simple guidelines if I hadn't spoken with the individuals within a 30 day period days or if their Facebook profile photo was inappropriate and didn't fit into what I would considered a good impression they had to go. My first purge was impressive I went from over 4000 friends to down to about 1000 friends. It felt good to clear up room in my profile and to get rid of unwanted and unnecessary status out of my news feed. 

As time went on I started realizing that I didn't want to be apart of any drama or negatively because at this time I was in the process of looking into myself and that meant I needed to watch who I was hanging around and who I had in my inner ear so this time when I went into my friends list I had a more concise process of what I wanted this time around it was your profile and you as a person had to have some sort of influence to me and by this time I told myself I wanted less than 500 friends and I went to town this time the purge took me a few days because I went on everyone's page and I really looked at what these individuals were about and I was mindful of their image as well as mine. I got my Facebook friends down to 450 every once in a while I start to look at profiles again to purge as I see fit as of today I have 400 friends easily and I'm quick to unfriend when things start being what I know I need to hear or see and it provides no positive outlook or influence on life or at least my idea of life.

I say all of this to say this when reading Paul's Blog he asked a good question he asks you to think of five or ten people you spend the most time with. He asks if your proud of what they have achieved or impressed by what they are doing? Are they passionate about the values you have and do they inspire you? If you think about these questions and you answer no to any then you really need to think about who your friends are. 

Now to those wondering what does any of this have to do with her and her son it has a lot to do with us. While many may find it weird that I look at my friends who have kids and I try to involved my child while he's special he has to learn to live in the normal world as everyone else sees it and he feeds off of the energy surrounding him and as his mother I make sure it's always positive energy. 

To check out the blog that inspire me to write about your friends check out Mr Paul Brunson at his blog. 

~Truly Blessed,

Misherald "Missy" & Jonathan "JB" Brown