Day 6: Meltdowns, Snow, & Countdown

Woke up to Sherbert doing her I have to go whine, which set me in motion because I really was not looking forward to cleaning her cage.  My morning was a rocky start not only where we late getting to the faculty which led to me feeling off kilter because I had to reroute myself and get over to the class site once I got there and got my bearings I felt better and was able to focus on what we were doing.  I have to say Sherbert was on her game this morning.  We did one track but she was on top of the footsteps that Jonathan and his friend took this morning going right to them and having that look on her face like so mom, I found him where are my dogs (hotdogs) and my tennis ball.

The DeZarn girls and Sherbert

Today was a little awkward for me because I was in a transition mode due to circumstances Jonathan’s sitter had to return home and it meant I was handling Jonathan & Sherbert. Can we say busy bodies but I am happy that the families here have bonded because I had some moms & dads stepping in to help when necessary at one point we had grandparents involved with the chaos of the kids. We began to work on behavior disruption today which includes lap as well as over which can be a large help when Jonathan is in meltdown mode or coming out of seizure mode because it’s deep pressure. 

So here is the fun part of it all or at least now that I look back over the day I think that but it was no funny or laughing matter while it was going on. We were back in the mall today and we were doing inside tracking and tethering. Now remember yesterday when I wrote about the chaos that J caused in the stores with tethering. Well today was no different Mister Brown went for ham and just cut a fool  at first I attempted to ignore it and act like nothing was going on but that lasted all of about thirty minutes because I could feel the tension headache forming behind my eyes and I can only imagine the scene we were causing.  Sooo I untethered them and that still did not satisfy him so we went through a three-hour period of an upset and temper tantrum child and a dog who did not know whether to stay by Mom’s side or to try to console his boy because his boy was simply in fight or flight mode. After a few moms stepped in and attempted to help me we finally got an idea on how to pull off a tracking situation in the mall and JcPenny’s of all places but it worked out because we made it as fun as possible.

J & Sherbert in play mode

Once back at the hotel I was hoping for a quiet moment I was even willing to let J take a quick nap for a quiet moment but he had other plans so I let Sherbert and him play for a little while to see who would tired down first. Let us just say as I write this blog he is up making noise and knocking on the wall.  Here is hope that the night manager does not call up here tonight for his mayhem…

Cannot wait to share with you tomorrow’s adventure we are official on countdown until time to go home T minus 5 days…

~Truly Blessed,

Misherald “Missy”, Jonathan “JB” & Sherbert “SD” Brown

Do You Network Appropriately...

Paul C Brunson & Missy Brown Black Expo 2013

Today was an awesome day for me. It is not often that I get to really go out and socialize without having to also be in Mommie mode.  Today was the first and I have to say I had a ball got to see some friends, meet some new friends and finally put a actually face with a friend who I’ve always communicated with over social media. 

Being direct sales consultants most of my customers are people I simply either met by accident, social media, or simply by connections so for me to get out and simply network it is extremely important for me to make the effort to do it often. I was interested in going to the Black Expo South ever since I heard that my good friend Paul C Brunson was going to be presenting two workshops that I was highly interested in but also the thought was also that it would give me a great opportunity to network as well.

For me floating through the Expo’s main hallway was a great way to reconnect with those individuals I had not seen in a while. My first stop was Paul C Brunson’s “The Million Dollar Brand” for me this was necessary. Being a businessperson who is always looking to grow the business as a whole. Paul is who philosophy on business is simply marvelous he breaks it down and explains things in a way that everyone could understand it. The second session with Paul was about relationships something we all can use some information on. 

Through it all, I got to exchange contact information with a host of people and made contacts with people who will help me grow my business later.  Be sure to get business cards made whether it is a business card with your contact information or simply a full fledge business card.

~Be Blessed,

Misherald "Missy" & Jonathan "JB" Brown

Boundaries: Personal, Professional, & Self

Someone asked me today if I knew my own limits and my first response was yes. However, after that person began to ask questions that are more specific I found myself hesitating and having to think about my answers. It made me realize that to a point, yes, I did but when it comes to certain people and certain situations, I did not put my boundaries in effect. Any life coach will tell you that creating strong boundaries is the number one way for an individual to improve their lives especially females.  I have heard Cheryl Richardson once say that you have to free yourself from the “disease to please”.

It is often said that you have to be aware of yourself to know what boundaries you need to set. So yes, it is important to set self-boundaries but you also have to know what boundaries you are setting with people. Of course, each person will have a certain threshold because of his or her status in your life whether it is your spouse, child, employer, coworker, or friend. Do not let yourself feel guilty for setting boundaries.  When you allow guilt to eat at you then you wasted your time setting the boundaries because you talked yourself right back out of it. The way you overcome the guilt situation is knowing when to say simply say no. If you are not in the mood, maybe your tired then just say no do not try to formulate an explanation of why you are saying no Just Do It!

Here is my biggest issue saying yes. You ever get that person who always tells you if you need me call me.  They just volunteer to help but you never want to depend on them or feel like you are putting them out their way even when they offered to help. I am good for rejecting help but being the first to jump to help. Backwards I know :) ! Then there are the biggest two words you can tell anyone. Thank you!  It’s okay to not express to someone how much you needed them or maybe you felt bad for having to call on them… no it’s simple just say thank you for being there, thank you for caring, thank you for taken care of me when I needed it. Do not let the feeling of shame or regret get to you.  Just be gracious and your friends know your heart it is going to be okay.

There is so much more to setting boundaries that I can go on and on about but what help would I be to just give it all away instead of suggesting that you doing some reading or research because I’m still working on it. My biggest hindrance right now is asking for help. I have the worst habit of waiting until things are just totally out of control before I will admit to myself that I need help.

Here are some good reads on how to set your boundaries:

Boundaries: When to Say YES, When to Say NO, To Take Control of Your Life by Dr Henry Cloud and Dr John Townsend

The work book is a great help mate as well!

Setting Boundaries with Difficult People: Six Steps to SANITY for Challenging Relationships by Allison Bottke

Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, & Relationships That All of Us Have To Give Up In Order To Move Forward by Dr Henry Cloud

Here is a quote to think on:

When people show their boundaries, (I cannot do this for you), you feel rejected.  Part of your struggle is to set boundaries to your own love. Only when you are able to set your own boundaries will you be able to acknowledge, respect and even be grateful for the boundaries of others.

~Henri J.M. Nouewn

~Truly Blessed,

Misherald  "Missy"  &  Jonathan "JB" Brown

What Is Life Like Raising A Autistic Child?

People often ask me what is it like to be the mother of an autistic child and often times it takes a lot not to just laugh. They find it weird that I am quick to say it is like raising any other child except I have more people involved in our lives.  With Jonathan, I have a team of about thirty other people that are involved in his health, education and any other major factors of his life.  

We work as a well-oiled machine between his pediatric physician, a team of specialize doctors, three private therapist, a team of ABA therapist, and me acting as his advocate we are a great team. That usually makes some of them give me a weird look wondering how I keep it all in line as well as control of my life. The answer is easy it is all about time management, being able to say no, making sacrifices knowing what you have on your plate, and knowing what you want out of life for both parties. When I finally got my mind focused on those things, I made quite a few changes that changed my life.  From cutting work, hours to be able to adjust for all of Jonathan's appointments to making sure that everyone who needed to be involved in his life had the time that they needed to do their part.  I had to cut back on some luxuries that I enjoyed for life to balance correctly. The biggest challenge is not to let the situation take over your life and get you upset with circumstances. 

The greatest thing I have learned since becoming Jonathan's mom is simply to live a fun fulfilling life.  When things do happen you have to be able to respond to them quickly without reacting without thinking this eliminates what if mode. Those thoughts will drive you crazy. Now many of you may think oh I feel sorry for her the sacrifices she make have to be great but instead I ask that before you pity me you simply root for us to overcome all obstacles that come our way.

So out of all of this my life lesson is simple: LIVE LOVE LAUGH... life is full of fun moments and you have to accept those fun moments as they come but be prepared for those rough moments as well.

A quote that we live by:

"Remember life is a precious gift, love is a wonderful gift, and laughter is a glorious gift.So live life to the fullest, love with all your heart, and laugh as much as you breathe."

~Truly Blessed,

Misherald "Missy" & Jonathan "JB" Brown

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. 

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)